Too much pride played it's part in keeping me out there drinking for many years until there is none left. I'm glad you didn't hurt anyone in your blackout drinking and driving to. That would be awful.
I found SR helpful, self will not so much. I needed out patient, inpatient, judges, jail, a shrink, AA, a small church, caring people and humility. Whatever it takes, it's worth finding a fun, peaceful enjoyable way of life without alcohol.
You will find your way.