Oh hun here is a big hug for you. I know how you must feel I went through alot of that with my ex-husband. When I finally figured out that I was better off without him and I left it was like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I also had to see that my kids although they loved him very much was better off with us no longer living together. It was hard on them at first they missed him as he did a suden turn around and started being nice to me as an all out effort to keep me but by that time he had killed everything I could feel for him I was sooo miserable just being with him and it got to the point that the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl. When the nicenest did not work he tried the guilt trip , and then got mad. Now he is remarried separtely we get along much better I feel sorry for his current wife but I think being sent to the school of hard knock taught him a lesson or two. My ex used to emotionally beat the crap out of me everyday he would call me every name he could think of except a child of God. He would always critisize my family naming them off one by one and why they were so screwed up. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells and then when he was done same thing he would want to kiss me and say he's sorry. I took that for 7 and a half years. I had lost so much of myself that I did not even know who I was anymore I felt stupid like I could not do anything right but I had to do everything. I warned him time and time agian that he was going to keep pushing me untill he would kill my feelings for him and he did not believe me. He thought that I would just keep taking it for the rest of my life. Well I am going on and on. You are not alone . Here's another hug I feel for you because I know just how bad mental abuse can tear you apart. Keep leaning on God and he will give you the strength to carry you through these hard times.
Rose