IDK, my experience is sort of like, this whole deal is up to me, she's just gonna assume that I do the right thing.
I put a few of my beer T-shirts, specialty brews, in my adult son's closet. My wife was going through some stuff... she asked me about them, aren't they mine? She gave me one or two as gifts... and she kind of persisted even after a few deflecting statements from me... finally I said I didn't wear them anymore... they might make me want one! "Oh... ok..." she said.
LOL
Frankly, I don't care that she is clueless... we can have a relationship that has nothing to do with recovery or anything like that... just the normal stuff... 4 kids, getting' all grown up and all... getting a little older... work (we work together, have for 25 years...)
She just gets cranky when I spend too much time on SR... LOLOLOLOL