Originally Posted by
steelmagnolia 
i get a feeling that you are actually trying to reassure yourself.
Originally Posted by
Terminally Unique When I began to think of myself as a normal person who never drinks, as opposed to an alcoholic on the edge of relapse, this kind of thinking — fear, uncertainty, and doubt — went away.
You know I can see why you think that's what's going on but it's not. I think what's going on is guilt. I feel terribly guilty for everything I put him and my children through. Flutter - my husband and yours sound similar. The one time we did talk about it I expressed my regret for what I put him through and he said it was such a small part of our 'forever' lives. Which is sweet but it was our WHOLE relationship up until a year ago.
I just have terrible regrets and guilt.
I really don't fear relapse. I'm 'done'.
Thanks all for the ears and thoughts!