I think most of the pertinent points have been covered here.
I'll wiegh in a lilttle bit just basically saying the same stuff perhaps in a different way maybe that'll help. First, the exact origin of the quote- i cannot say i've reseached it so i cant really help with that. I was told this multiple times and while disagreeing silently, i grasped the underling meanings of "if I dont fix me the relationship i start will be at a disadvantage whitch would not be fair to the other person", "typically someone who is an addict trys everything they can to use something outside themselves to make themselves feel better" thus leading to no dateing because if we are tricking ourselves into trying to malipulate the other person to be co-dependant as others have tried it is unhealthy and will end badly. even if our intentions are pure and the other person is informed i or we are most times unable to deal with relationships that sour and will typically lead to relapse.
With that said i totally understand how frustrating it is to deal with aa, our lives are our own to lead. i believe the self checker for this type of thing is an honest appraisal of the situation, are you following your feelings to a point that would be detrimental to your recovery (i.e. are you obsessing about this person ,would you have the esteem necessary to stand firm one your decision to not drink if persuaded by her, would you be able to handle a horrable souring of the situation? i think how you answer these types of things will let you know how to proceed. as far as aa sponcership goes for sure he was in the wrong no if ands or butts, although watch out for self will run riot, we have done what we wanted to do for the course of this and being able to set aside what we want for the greater good is at the heart of all this.
wish you luck with this , i'll pray for you. keep fighting the good fight...or surrending and winning whitchever you need to do for now
