Hello, and welcome.
For me I could never go back to a few drinks. Never wanted a few. After the first one, all bets were off.
Could be one day, could be a three day bender.
Toward the end of my drinking I was drinking every other day pretty much around the clock.
I figured if I only drank every other day, I couldn't have a problem. WRONG!
I have a problem, I'm an alcoholic and I must abstain on a daily basis.
My life is so much better now, and I wish the same for you.