(((Dominica))) - the initial period when we just KNOW that drinking/using will "make it all feel better" is tough...no doubt. I had to remind myself, if it was so darned good, why did I keep wanting to quit?
Most of us didn't get to SR because our lives were wonderful, drinking/using was great. For me? I've had enough bad consequences that I just really, really don't want to cause any more.
I think a run sounds like a good idea. I won't deny..it's hard at first, but it really does get better. I'm stressed as can be, with school work. However, I've been through this before, and I never turned back to using. Each time I get past one more stressful/anxious time and don't use? It builds my self esteem, and the thoughts of "just one more hit" haven't come up in a long, long time.
BTW, I don't think you need to apologize for telling how you feel...that's what we're here for...working through stuff with people who understand.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy