SecretLife1111,
everyone is right, only you know if your an addict, but w/ my past experience it sounded like yours w/ the waking up and taking pills to get through the day..
I just kept getting worse and lost soo much in my life, I am 51 and had been doing drugs for 20 years,tried 3 times to get off, and finally this time it is working.
Today I am 1 month clean, but I have a long way to go yet.
I just want everyone to realise if we don`t stop i did end up in institutions, jail but not death because I got help.
I know how hard this is, but you are worth it!!!
Please try to get off htose things they are evil and will just ruin your life and family..
sorry if I am a little hard but i really do care about you and want the best for you!!
Continue to read other peoples thoughts and advice it helped me.
Good Luck and you are a beautiful person and NEVER forget it...