well nothing will happen. i think though i will fell stupid or used, i dont think i will ever fully believe that was what really occurred. i think i will feel like i did everything for nothing. i think i am afraid that i will never be able to let go. i am afraid of that. i am afraid that unhealthy or not, that what ever my feelings are for her, that to me they are true and that if it is one sided that i may be haunted by this forever. and i am afraid, but i am getting better at this one, that she does really feel something toward me and that if i go nc that will be lost if she is clean.
its all thoughts. nothing will happen i guess, except thoughts