Ryan I think Aegian,
Has hit the nail on the head, you really haven't admitted you are powerless over alcohol.
I get that, only 5 months sober myself, there is still a part of me that thinks I will be able to drink again without impunity.
Getting sober is not about just stopping drinking, there is a lot of work to be done on ourselves. I am just begininning to realize how awful I had become through drinking.
Five months ago I would have seen things a lot differently, others were at fault, no wonder I drank, the things I had to put up with, that type of thinking.
The fog is lifting, I am surrendering myself to my sobriety, to my wellness. I know if I do this all else will follow. I know this because it has started happening.
Do whatever it takes, whether that be AA, rehab or any other program that works for you.
I sincerely wish you the best on your recovery.
CaiHong