Originally Posted by
Petewill 
hello - been awhile since i have posted.. Just got out of rehab and have now been clean 36 days.. second day at home and am feeling real down, the reality that I cannot drink is depressing me.. funny, when I was in rehab, I was not all stressed about life,job,lack of significant other.. now I feel like I have nothing.. but, I know I do.. My mind is just playing tricks on me. but, lonely as hell right now. Have been going to meetings consistently and have a sponsor, from before. ughh. I realize that I have a opportunity to start all over - but it hurts.. so much work ahead.. thanks for reading.
Originally Posted by
Petewill Thanks for responses.. No, I have been in the program of NA and have worked the steps before, so i really do need to get going on the steps again. By feeling like crap, I meant emotionally.. I mean a little earlier, all i could think about was using again. It's like I just don't want to go through the pain of staying sober.. very lame, i know. I want the escape and not the loneliness sobriety brings.. I was miserable when I had 18 months last time and working the steps. so, I am a little worried about the results i will have this time around, but we all know what happens eventually when we do use again, it just gets worse.. basically, there is no way out, either way.. just stating how I really feel about it right now.. sucks..
Hi Pete,
I find looking at some of my old posts helps me to see where I was & if there are any patterns that I had that could have contributed to a relapse. I have copied & pasted one of your posts from April of last year when you were at the same amount of time you are now (33 days). I think there are some similarities in how you are feeling as you had last time around.
Its tough coming back into reality after we have been heavily involved in our addiction & masking all of our feelings, reality & not dealing with the past or knowing how to actually live sober in the present.
It will all come together if you give it some time. Pick up some of the old hobbies that you used to like to do, try something new & healthy. There are a lot of things to do sober... more than there are for people who are high or drunk ;-)
I know you can make it stick this time & live a happy sober life but its going to take a lot of work & effort to get the momentum shift going in your new path of recovery.
Stay close & connected to SR, we are here to help each other & listen. Try to post every day whether its for you or to help another new comer.
Take care & all of the best in your recovery
Cheers ~ NB