Nice to *meet* you Pete!
I think what you're going through is absolutely normal - and that's a good thing!
I have a friend that just phoned me from his first day in rehab today. He too is justifiably concerned about the same things as you.
I shared with him what I've seen many others did - consider a clean and sober house/oxford house.
Staying sober requires we be 100% honest with ourselves.
I believe that I must go to any length to save my sobriety or I will lose everything I have and could have. If I weren't married with a family I would have jumped at the chance to go to a clean living house. Heck, I even considered doing it after gettin out of rehab.
The transformation I've seen on some of the guys that have made that choice is amazing. It's not a permanent thing, but it sure helps the weak get their strength.
Also - don't future trip! You only need to make the decision to not drink today since no one knows about tomorrow.
I'm very lucky that I haven't had to drink for quite a few 24 hours now and I know you can do it too.
Hit a meeting, call some numbers, find a temporary sponsor. Be active and involved in your recovery.
My best to a fellow "Pete."
(St. Peters is the name of the place I went to rehab)