cuyootoo

yea, congrats on 36 days, that's longer than me. I have 33 days. It's strange how sometimes I know I should be happy about being sober, but I am miserable about how things are in my life right now. When I get that way I know it's because I am not caring about myself enough, but more about how others might view me.

Because when I view my situation from my best interest then I am encouraged because all of those prejudice against me are really opportunities for me to do what I really want in life. I used to be so vigilant in my insistence that drinking was how I got to do what I wanted. Now I am vigilant in my insistance that being sober is how I get what I want. Since I am not stuck working for "the man" I get to work in my own business for myself. Since I am not stuck with all those other friends that don't like me anymore I get to make new friends that don't have anything against me.

I wish they focused more on what to do when you get out of treatment while in treatment. Then you would know what to do better right now. I am sure that you gotta be a friend to yourself right now. Be good to yourself from now on, okay? Drinking isn't being good to yourself. If you drink or use it's like self mutilation. It's like if you start cutting yourself just to get off on the natural pain killers your body will produce.