So, I'm still confused about where to draw the line between alcoholism and abuse. I do know, though, that what I just typed up to post here is better posted in the SA survivors’ forum I write in/read… So will revise what I started writing…
I’m so glad for the welcome back, though I feel like I don’t deserve it, having been gone and basically just lurking the F&F board…
OMG, Tuffgirl. You have no idea how great the validation from GF feels. I hate that she went through what she went through – to the point where she’s asked those of us who have to deal with XAH still to never mention her name or her kids, because she has “enough fear to deal with” – but at the same time it’s nice to know that it’s not just me he treats this way and that I didn’t imagine the alcoholism or abuse.
Posie, no, no al-anon lately. I can give a long list of reasons, but they’re just excuses, really. I have however been meeting weekly with a counselor and almost every week with a DV support group. Every time I think about cutting back on meetings with my counselor, something comes up that sends me into a tailspin. I’m often afraid that I do it to myself. I have to remind myself that just like I can’t control XAH’s drinking/using, I can’t control his enabler’s enabling. However, I admit I’m still having a hard time detaching from XAH and his entourage. And there is still so much that I need help to work through.
This summer has been h-ll with XAH and GF. My friends and family, and counselor, had to remind me daily that it would change soon. XAH couldn’t keep up appearances for very long. And turns out they were right. So now we’re onto the next bunch of enablers.
I’m tired of the dance, but it’s generally easier to ignore the digs XSIL gets in, because I know where she’s coming from (same alcohol-enmeshed family dynamics and crazy divorce that she insists mine is just like).
I also have so much to be thankful for and I think that’s another thread.