Viper,
For someone only 17, I admire your willpower and willingness to change. I had a cocaine problem ten years ago, and that eventually led to crack. Lost everything, wife, job, house, etc.. I quit through rehab for 5 yeqars. Then earlier last month, I relapsed. I started doing lines again and felt absolutely terrible. I felt al the things you felt. I felt like a failure. I remarried and have a 17 month son who adores me. Everytime I look at them I want to cry. Today is my first day of my new sobriety. I want a line so bad but I know that if I do my road to recovery will be that much longer. I feel terrible, thinking about going to my guy to get some but I read your post. If you can resist, then I surely will. Good luck Viper, and God Bless. I pray that I do not slip up and I pray that you keep on with your recovery.