Your friends care about you and your well-being. I do understand that they can no longer watch you being taken advantage of and doing nothing about it. It just gets old, and there really is nothing they can do to help you, if, you do not help yourself.
If you need a man to define you, you will never find any real happiness. How you can still be physically attracted to a man who craps in his pants and on your floor is beyond me. I would never get that gross scene out of my mind. Could just be me.
I agree, might be time for therapy, you seem to be trapped in a negative mindset.