This is very interesting to me right now. You said how you addressed crisis and that resonated with me. I spent so much of my life handling my parent's crisis and my siblings crisis and my nephews and nieces crisis, then my daughter's crisis. In between that all I craved was peace and quiet. No phone ringing meant no crisis.
I have all the time in the world now to do all the things I too have been dreaming about, more artwork, take classes, work on my own house instead of others.
But what do I do? Nothing. It's very frustrating to just keep thinking of doing the same things every night and getting up and doing nothing everyday. -not that you are doing nothing, but I am right now.
So I am getting my fill of calm right now and actually I am to the point where I am loving it. I just worry tho that I won't be able to stop it and start doing the things I need to do. I alternate between loving the calm and feeling guilty for not making myself do the things I dream of doing. It's very much a fight for calm vs doing. Even doing the bare minimums like cooking, making the bed, or laundry is feeling like an intrusion to my calm. I used to also live in my head and love reading but I can't do it now, it feels like an intrusion as well.
If I get a call from a nephew or my daughter, I am right there to help and will switch out my plans to help out. It's my conditioning I guess, part of my loves it and I jump in and fix things. But give me a couple days of calm and I'm into it. I keep wondering if I will become a hermit once it starts snowing using that as an excuse to stay in --and do nothing! I hope I get over it soon but right now I am just enjoying my guilty pleasure.
