Originally Posted by
dbh 
I'm almost 50 and I'm worried that it's too late for me to change.
I could have written most of that! Looking back at my life so far, I think, hey, wait a minute -- I'm 48, I should be further along by now!" I'm not sure if it's an ACA thing, an ADD thing (a condition I have finally been officially diagnosed with, by my pdoc -- although it's been bugging me for upwards of 30 years), or what.
My wife and I have been in our apartment for 5 years, yet there are boxes that are still not unpacked. I have big ideas about getting all sorts of stuff done, but I'm lucky if 10% of it happens, on a given day (that is, year). I find it hard to get focused, stay focused, and so on.
What's important, though, is not to fall into where you're beating yourself up about it all the time. I get this newsletter from a housekeeping guru who has sort of a recovery program for your house. One of her favorite sayings is, "You are not behind -- just jump in wherever you are!" If the kitchen needs cleaning, okay -- do the dishes, wipe up the floor, and get that done. Don't look at the messy kitchen and go into a spiral: "Look at this kitchen... it's a mess... just like the living room, which I was supposed to tidy up but didn't... you can hardly find the floor in there! And what about that pile of laundry -- why is it always on the couch instead of put away? WHY ARE THESE BOXES STILL NOT UNPACKED after five years?" (That's roughly the spiral I tend to get into, if I don't catch myself.)
Bottom line: you are not behind. Do the next right thing, check it off the list, and... something's checked off the list! I think this procrastination/disorganization thing is just an aspect of my personality -- a laundry-list trait, if you will -- and getting rid of it may be impossible, but I can "integrate" it, as the ACA book talks about... not sure exactly what that means, but some of it involves finding workarounds, accepting a certain amount of disorder, and reminding myself that although I think I'm somehow "behind" where I thought I'd be at 48, self-flagellation is not the best way to handle it!
T