qfm79, your comments really struck a chord with me - and many of us! A big part of my drinking and drug use was to self-medicate anxiety that really flared up after some big-time stressors in my life - ugly divorce, mother's death, changes at work - all in the same year. It then began to really be bad in social situations, to the point I couldn't interact with anyone without at least a slight buzz. Needless to say, the original anxiety was NOTHING compared to the price I paid for self-medicating for 7 years. I lost everything in life. I pray that you will address the anxiety and/or depression issues, take it seriously, get plugged into counseling, recovery and maybe meds early on, so that you don't go down the road I have. I can look back and see the crucial moments and they were all based on me thinking "it's just not worth it" OR "i can control things, i'm not really that bad." The most beautiful part of it all though - the payoff - is that recovery has eliminated most of my anxiety, and that's just within the first year! (and i love to cook, too. it's great getting your interests back!)