I agree. When my AXBF was in rehab (the 1st time of many), I was so angry because the staff would not include his mother and I in "the plans post rehab". Now that my head is just a little clearer, I know that this is his road to travel. Not only is his recovery, if and when he chooses true recovery, none of my business but it is his to map out. Actually, now that I have had accepted this I am not as anxious and worried about him getting recovery. It feels good not to be concerned with at least one crisis in my life. I have two children, and I realized about 4 months back that I was not being the best mother I could be due to my obsession with AXBF's problems. I knew then it was time to detach from this situation and the only way I could do that was to seperate from him. I am still struggling everyday and mourning the loss of our 4 year relationship. But, I do know that I feel so much better than I did 4 months ago.