I am new at working on my recovery of being an enabler. This is hard for me since I haven't been honest with myself often. I stay with him because of hope, I'm a perpetual optimist, I stay out of fear that I will be alone, I stay because he is a good provider financialy, I stay because we have had our few good times. Not great, but good. I stay because my daughter who is Bipolar and 15 is just now stable and I don't want to disrupt her life anymore than what she has been through.
I also stay for another reason, one I feel embaressed about...I stay because I PITY HIM, I'M AFRAID HE WILL NOT MAKE IT WITHOUT ME BECAUSE he has been so emotionally dependant on me and I have enabled him to be so. Also, I left him once 13 years ago and he could hardly function and I am fearful for his well being. Gosh, it feels good to be completely honest with someone. I really do pity him and feel sorry for him. Thanks for listening.