.."why was he staying with me?"
Oh yeah there is that too...before I decided to leave for a couple of years now I have felt the only reason he wanted me to stay and he stayed is because of our son. ONe time after visiting my parents where he was up all night pucking in their house...we fought and he said fine thats it we're done...he changed his mind and said that he could not stand to be away from our son....That was 2 1/2 years ago....I guess that has always been in the back of my head.
The other reason I thought he stayed was to keep this image of what we are...without my son and I he might be exposed....right now he is respected and looked up to...the life of the party per say.....and our home was the perfect image of what dreams are....until you walked through that door ...it was a big fake.....
I still think those are the truth....but what I know is I can not make things perfect enough for him to stop so I need to find my own happiness.
thanks for listening.