Welcome Cool Ray!
Congratulations on your first Al-anon meeting!! Whoo-hoo!! Good for you!
I think your wife's response is pretty typical of an alcoholic's reaction to the threat of losing their enabler. For me the "threats" were part of my and my husband "alcoholic dance." I would get angry/frustrated and threaten to leave (in hopes of getting him to straighten up). He would get angry/frustrated with my controlling behavior and threaten to leave (in hopes of getting me to lighten up!). That is... the merry-go-round of the family disease of alcoholism. It's an extreme form of a control drama - where each participant uses manipulative behaviors to exert control over the relationship.
It a nutshell... it's all very unhealthy.
Going to Al-anon helped me see the role I played in our family dysfunction. I learned how to truly detach from the dance and live MY LIFE again.
I'm glad you're here... keep coming back!
Shannon