Hi Watchful! Welcome and thanks for posting.
I always hated the powerless stuff, too, and it seems a lot of binge drinkers have a problem with the idea too.
I always pictured a cartoon scene where someone opens a fridge and sees a beer there and can't help but drink it. But of course that's not true. Most of us can avoid drinking that beer, at least for a while, and many of us can avoid drinking it for a long while.
The thing that finally clicked for me was the notion that even if I could avoid drinking, and even if I could go several times with just a few drinks (to prove my control), that eventually I would drink a heck of a lot more than I wanted to, and once I got to that point I would just keep on drinking -- that I was at times powerless before alcohol.
I'm not in AA, and some AA members may have a different take on this, but to me the whole powerless line is like the God thing in AA -- put as many qualifiers or replacement words there as you want until the basic concept behind it clicks.
Sounds like you've done some things drunk that you wouldn't willingly do sober, and yet have continued to return to drinking. We all have, so I'm not being critical -- but that sounds like some degree of powerlessness to me.
Any how -- there are lots of alternatives to AA that you could explore, and posting here is a great start to making at least some online sober friends!