Welcome Watchful,
Thank you for posting your story. According to your post you may not be powerless over alcohol but it certainly has a tight grip.
It is great that you have decided to do something about your drinking. I am over 5 months sober and I am staying sober with the help of AA and this forum. You are right when you said you need the support, I certainly do.
I went to my first women's meeting yeaterday, it took me 5 hours to get there but it was well worth it. I fitted in perfectly because I am an alcoholic who wants to remain sober, that is all I need to fit in.
The alcoholic mind can find a lot of reasons to drink or not attend meetings being a non smoker is just another one.
I sincerely wish you all the srength on this remarkable journey.
CaiHong