Ryan, you're not hopeless. You can do this, just start again.
I think you should be easy on yourself for your relapse... but I also think it might help you to go back and read some of your posts over the last few days. The advantage you have right now is you wrote down nearly every thought leading up to your relapse. In the light of sobriety, go back and see how your mind/addictive voice led you to here.
Your addictive voice is not smarter than you. I know you can beat it, just don't give up.