I think it's ironic, I've found my way back here almost exactly two years later.
Things with my dad are bad. In January, he had to have his other foot amputated, leaving him a double amputee. Then in March, he had several strokes because his heart valve that he had replaced in 2008 was infected, and pieces of the infection broke off and went to his brain, and spent the entire summer in rehab (not for his alcoholism). We thought he was going to die during the surgery, and I hate that part of me even wished for it.
My mother has told my dad that he has to find a different place to live by mid-November. There's a lot of sneaking around, and women that he knows via Facebook have been sneaking him beer. We caught him trying to sneak beer at my sister's wedding a few weeks ago, but we had already told the bartender not to serve him. He is hell-bent on continuing drinking. I had really hoped that he would focus on his health, since he's been through so much, but now that he's had the stroke, he has even less mental clarity than he did before.
If they are splitting up, which I am in favor of, because my mom deserves so much better, then I really have no reason to have any contact with my dad. My contact with him since my last post has really just been at holidays, and whenever I visit my mom, since he lives there.
My line in the sand is that if he's drinking, I don't want anything to do with him. He never calls me as it is, and I don't want to see him die this way. I feel bad, because I've been reading posts on this board that talk about never giving up on the person, but that's exactly what I want to do. He has demonstrated time and again that he has no interest in being involved in my life, so why should I watch him kill himself?
My mom has told me that she doesn't want me to take sides, but I told her that I'm not taking HER side, I'm taking MY side.
If you made it this far, thank you.