Originally Posted by
FHB1 
Hi everyone. I've been having some mixed feelings lately regarding AA and I figured I'd vent here a bit if you don't mind. I've been attending AA for about two and a half months now, but I'm starting to become disillusioned with the whole thing. I feel like I don't just don't fit in in AA. I feel like no one really cares what I have to say. I try to talk to people at the beginning and end of meetings, but no one really want's to talk to me. I feel like I'm not "in the club" or something and that I have to force my way into conversations, like I'm bothering people when I try to talk to them. Whenever I do talk to people, I feel like I have to listen to what they have to say and what I have to say doesn't matter. Like everybody is the big expert on everything and I don't know anything. I feel like if I talk about myself and my own problems that I'm being selfish or something. The other day at a meeting, I said that I was having a difficult time and that I was having thoughts about drinking. The people at the meeting weren't very supportive. They made me feel like I was being selfish for saying that I felt like drinking. It was very strange. I feel like there's a certain AA etiquette that I just don't understand. I guess I don't fit in in or out of AA. Thanks for letting me vent.
Like laurie said above feeling apart from is normal for an alcoholic that is sober, it is one of the things the AA program addresses.
On the other hand it may not be you so I'll add a bit about that.
In bigger city meetings you will see a lot of people come and go. after a while it gets to be emotionally draining to watch this so what happens is people will stop paying too much attention to newcomers. It starts to wear on us as we know what that newcomer went back to. It shouldn't be that way but we are human and feel the need to protect ourselves.
Next is the possibility that the hall you are going to is "cliquey". If that is the case be thankful that you aren't included in the clique. I have seen these often, only the cool drunks need apply and they always end in disaster.
Hope this helps.