Charon

My 2 cents - you are not taking your meds to "feel better" you are taking them to feel normal. May sound like semantics but I assure you it is not. Some of us, due to physiology, psychology, or something else don't have a balanced biochemistry. That puts us in an unnatural state which can be very stressful.

My Mom suffered from periodic bouts of fairly severe depression. So do I and so does my Daughter. My Mom went undiagnosed and untreated and suffered - a lot. My Daughter and I have been diagnosed and are taking meds. I think she takes Lexapro and I'm on Pristique. Without the Anti-D I get suicidal thoughts. Don't think I'd act on them but it's a real dark place. With the meds I am normal - not happy, not great - just able to deal with life without going off the deep edge.

So, in short, of course you are sober and clean. If you had diabetes would you refuse to take insulin?