Originally Posted by
bikini69 
so if i do this sobriety thing......am i allowed to drink in moderation just once(wink wink) at the upcoming christmas work party that i have to attend?
Welcome to SR!
I'm not sure what you are looking for when you talk about alcohol substitutes. The only substitutes I can think of would cause just as much/more problems than alcohol would and are generally illegal (ie, weed, opiates). My personal goal in my sobriety is to strive for satisfaction in life without having to depend on externalities. You could say that I'm shooting for inner peace.
As far as if you can drink in moderation, you can do whatever you want, however if you are drinking then you are not sober, IMO. If you do indeed have an addiction to alcohol I am 100% certain that moderation won't work for you.
For me, learning about my addictive behaviors and how to deal with them has been a journey and a character building experience that has lasted a several years. It sounds like you are just starting out on this journey, so I would invite you to have an open mind and try to learn as much as possible, see what makes sense to you and what doesn't, and try to flesh it all out in your head.
Best wishes