Been through enough relapses with my EXABF-each and every time, he promised me he would sober up. He did for a while, but it always happened again. Watching him spiral into that pit was awful-the arguments, verbal abuse, self-pity, detoxing tore me apart. Time and time, again, when he stopped then started again, what trust I had in him evaporated to the point of nothingness. I always knew when it was happening and yet, I couldn't let go.
I finally accepted that he would not seek recovery, that I had no right to expect him to do it, that he had every right to live life on his terms. That's when I let him go.
Letting go was hard and is still hard as I know he is still drinking and has pushed away everyone who loves him and tried to help.
With the help of AL-Anon, Sr, friends and family, I'm hanging in there, good days and bad days, focusing on my well being and path in life.
Hugs coming your way!