If and when he is truly ready to live a sober life, he will be willing to do whatever is necessary. AA will not make him drink. He says that because he doesn't have a clue what AA really is or what he will learn by doing the steps. Regarding his excuse for not going to rehab...his house is less important that his life, or your life, or that of your children.
He still has "conditions" and that tells me he isn't ready. He's saying and doing what he feels is necessary to get his enabler back and for all to seem right to the outside world and be free to continue as he had before. It's up to you whether or not you put yourself and your children back in that madness and chaos.