Congratulations Tally ! I don't think I loved XABF either , I never accepted him as he is. And I am also content and laugh more often nowadays. My life has never been this way before, where I feel free, independent, able to do whatever I enjoy .... I take care of myself now, go to the dentist, go to the doc if I need to... go to knee rehab everyday... ask for help more often... I
have surprised myself being more flexible dealing with people or things I don't like... actively pursuing ways to enjoy and most if not all, do not include anyone else or depend on anyone else's approval or opinion so I am happy and feel stronger
Granted depression takes ahold of me sometimes but I am finding I no longer linger there so often YAY!!
So glad we are on the same boat!! keep moving forward!!