I too, detached with anger. I left my AH of 23yrs about 5 months ago. I was very angry with him when I left but most of all, I was done. I couldn't take living with an active alcoholic anymore. It took 18 months of therapy, Al-anon and SR for me to realise that I was important and deserved so much more from my life.
This anger helped me to detach and go no contact from my AH and it protected me, in a way, whilst I began to put healthier emotions and actions in place. Of course anger isn't a very healthy emotion, but if that's what it takes to get to a healthier place then I would do it again.
Sorry, I didnt answer your questions! I stayed angry but basically lived a separate life under the same roof until I found a place to move into. (about 2 months) I moved into a spare bedroom and stayed out of AH way as much as possible. He was cooking me teas and asking me about my day for a while before I left, I kept to simple chit chat, or would respond to his questions but not carry on conversations. The night before I left he was asking me for cuddles and sex and said that we would always be friends. I declined and told him that I wanted nothing to do with him, once I left. He was shocked because he thought that we would still be friends but I was so angry, I said that friends dont do what he has done to me and I didn't want friends in my life like that.
By the way - Al-anon will help.
Last edited by Eight Ball; 10-24-2011 at 04:13 AM.
Reason: answer questions!