WTBH,
It was also just at a year ago that I realized what a bad situation we were in, and I had some thoughts and feelings about it just last week. Feeling the feelings about it was weird since I used to be entrenched in denial. But, I pulled those recovery tools out of the toolbox, worked them, and worked through the feelings with them.
It looks like you have done much of the same. It's all about progress, not perfection!!