Hello.
Hello, my name is Tom. I have been a drug addict for quite some time (for about 3.5 years). I am 22 years old but I look like I'm 12. I started snorting heroin when I found it as a better alternative to pills. I haven't graduated to the needle and I hope I never will, I've been using H for about a couple years.
This is the very first time I've ever truly asked for help. Heroin is ruling my life and I cannot stop it, I love it too much. I always have to be in possession of it or I get incredibly anxious and would do anything to get more. I am very nervous asking for help like this, I feel very vulnerable, and I am not one to open up about these sort of things. All I know is that if I don't do something about my addiction soon my life is going to be over. I have been forced into several rehabs, and none of them have worked for me because I resisted 100%. I know that may be selfish but I would like someone to please, please help me help myself without getting locked up in a rehab, just to get out and use again right when I get released.
I'm losing everything. My relationships, one with the love of my life, all my money due to legal problems, if I don't stop now, or at least go on a hiatus then I'm done for. I'm thinking about going to an NA meeting tomorrow to talk about my problems. NA never helped before but I'm getting desperate.
I also have an incredible problem with depression, which I'm guessing may contribute to the reasons why I use so much. I was very depressed prior to me ever taking so much as a tylenol.
If I have broken any rules by being too specific than I apologize in advance. This isn't easy for me.
Somebody, please help me. I need advice. Thank you SO much for your time and consideration. Perhaps even your compassion.
-Tom