I haven't read the other replies but I think it is kind of a normal part of the greiving process when you lose something you thought you were going to have or wanted or remember how hard things were. I have found that the first anniversary of whatever date/event brings up all the emotions and after that it is much easier. Our first camping trip, the first time I took the boys to the circus alone, the first Easter, birthday party, holiday, etc. We were all getting used to doing it a different way, with one less person. I realize that this was often *good* because we didn't have the alcoholism there was also just a missing person, one we cared about. We were re-defining how our family looked on a daily basis.
I have even noticed that now I sometimes have fond memories that don't cause such sadness or regret or any of the other things. Time and space have brought things into balance for me. You'll get there too.
