Hi Caligirl, I'm sorry to hear that you are doubting yourself. I know that pain well.
I avoid guilt by convincing myself that it is not my fault.
Interestingly, no one else in my life drinks because of how much I weigh.
No one else in my life drinks because I'm not "pretty enough".
No one else in my life drinks becasue I don't keep the house clean enough.
Nothing I can do or not do, be or not be is going to have any influence on any alcoholic. I do believe that I'm nowhere near that powerful.