DayTrader

What is it you want to hear Paddy.....that you're not an alkie? Fine, you're not a real alcoholic. Does that really mean anything?

You controlled your drinking a couple times. So what. So did I and I'm a chronic/hopeless alkie. Heck, my LAST drinks were 2 or 3 beers consumed over the course of a couple hours at a bar - absolutely normal controlled "social" drinking.

Outside of what you see on TV and hear in pop-culture.....real alcoholism has little to NOTHING with amounts, frequency or the ability to control that stuff on occasion.

I presume that doesn't matter to you any more than it mattered to me when I was in your shoes - continually hanging my hat on past successes and completely disregarding the glaring failures. As Keith suggested, you made the decision to not drink again.....and you drank again. Whether you're an alkie or not, a chronic alkie or not, whether you suffer from alcoholism or not........I can't say. What I can say is that your decision to drink proved to be lacking in power. ......but I'm sure the next time it'll be different, right?

I'm not trying to give you a hard time, really I'm not. I've seen ppl like you over and over. Hell, I personally did the same sort of stuff......over and over. As sugarbear suggested, perhaps your problem lies deeper than "just not drinking" will reach. If it worked (just not drinking) then you never would have felt the overwhelming urge to pick back up.

Really, I'd highly recommend sobriety......it's FAR more than "not drinking" and the only real game in town........if you're an alcoholic.