Pigtails

Exactly. Something is out there bigger than us [humans]. Even scientific explanations call for random chance, a mystery of sorts, something to be in awe of. We did not make the world, we cannot decide what is going to happen to the world or even to ourselves. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Something decides our destiny and I'm not really into praying to it because honestly I don't think it cares or has the ability to care, I think it's all chaotic and non-sensical.

This is where my thinking about the higher concept power gets really distorted and confusing. Yes, I know there are powers out there greater than myself. Do I think that praying to them is going to do anything to influence what happens in my life? Yes and no. I don't think "they" are going to do anything different but I think it helps "me" but things in perspective. I cannot control everything. I didn't get myself on this planet and I can't decide when or if I leave it. All I can do is try to give myself the best life possible.

So I guess I pray to the god who is me... who DOES have the power to decide how I want my life to be, even if I don't have control over external circumstances. This is where my beliefs/non-beliefs seem to clash with AA's. Although I'm looking into Buddhism and the twelve steps because I think that's pretty much where my beliefs are at and if other people have made it work then maybe I can too.

I'm sorry if this is a threadjack OP.