An important passage and one that is true in all it's facets, imo.
It's common to believe that however we choose to view alcoholism has some effect on it, instead of being completely meaningless and impotent to change our general direction in the smallest amount. For as long as we can stand to believe the false illusions that allow more drinking and destruction we can continue along the old tired path and still believe our sanity is intact.
Doing the things we would never do, breaking the sincere promises that we made sober and intended to keep, swearing off again with a new pill or mindgame which will make the difference this time, and other ways to establish our control this time over what we cannot uniformly control over the longterm. As if our thoughts and desires and plans are going to permanently alter or eliminate our condition over the long haul.
When things go as they do we often call that an error, or a mistake which can be best ignored or if need be, explained in line with what we want to believe, in the fairy tale of our devising that will produce a happy ending for ourselves.
Seeing the negative events as indicative of the truth of what we absolutely do not want to be so is not often possible, as that would mean we were wrong and also that going along as before will unavoidably end badly for us again and again.
But, hardly any of us get it right during the first many dozens of times we decide we aren't going to ever drink and wind up like that again. We remain sure we know just what to do to get this right and that we are on the correct path this time around.
Admitting we are lost and clueless and need to be shown how to get out off the hamster wheel by those who have found an answer that actually works is uncomfortable, and most alcoholics seemingly cannot let go of their false illusions that continue to prove out as only pleasant fantasies having zero effect in relieving their continued suffering.