Tuffgirl,
I'm sorry, you must've felt invaded. I'm glad you have such integrity. That's how I feel, too. I would want my words to be healing for me and maybe for a lurker or two, and by golly if my A were to read any of this, maybe he'll find his own path, his own peace.
My RABF had admitted he'd done some of the same things in the past. Because I write my truth, I don't worry that whatever I write will or will not "make" anything happen. You and I...we're just not that powerful.
I applaud you your grace here.