Thank you Tearsofaclown for posting this. I think all of us will have found your story painful to read and heartening at the same time. Painful because we have all suffered the awful deceit that goes with drinking, how could they be two people, why wouldn't they share the problem with us and ask for our support. One of the most painful things for me to accept is that my partner could do this to our children, innocents who deserve nothing but the best we can give them for a start in life, so I can definately feel with you there. My two daughters have witnessed some ugly scenes, but thankfully they are both very emotionally mature and stable, and I have always tried to be honest and open with them. I thought things had been ok for a couple of weeks and was beginning to relax into a normal routine, when R came home Friday my youngest daughter (17) said she thought she could smell Vodka, sure enough what I thought was a half empty bottle of Evian, was actually Vodka.
I know Al Anon teaches to detach and not go looking for stuff, but on this occasion it was poured away. It just teaches me that until R seeks help there's nothing much I can do-but I have managed to protect my children, which is what you are doing, and you also have to take great care of youself.
Wishing the best for you-Andy