It really seems like the ‘stuff’ has fit the fan quite quickly.
I’m sorry you are going through this. Your husband’s alcoholism is progressing. I hope he decides to make changes for himself soon. He can ONLY be the one to decide to make that change, however. I wish I had all the answers for you as to what to do. Take a step back. Breathe. Get yourself in a more calm place, and then maybe the answers will come. What is your intuition telling you to do? When we are in a frantic state of mind we tend to not listen to the little voice inside.
Through my experience with my AH I felt that education was the key to my sanity. I researched everything. I read, and continue to read, about alcoholism, its progression, and codependency. My advice would be for you to do the same. Seek a local Al-Anon meeting to help sort out the thoughts and emotions. Visit with a counselor. Has your husband omitted to his alcoholism? Is he truly ready to change without a push from you? Remember that you cannot change him, or force him to do something that he is not ready or not willing to do. Be honest with yourself and develop healthy boundaries for you and your kids.
Keep posting here. We are here for you.