Originally Posted by
tearsofaclown 
I am also totally devastated. This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I am embarassed, humiliated a feel like I have failed as a parent to provide for my children a safe and happy childhood. My parents have them while my husband and I try to sort things out. But how do you sort things like this out...
Many of us here completely understand these feelings. It is normal to have a reaction like this when we finally break through our own denial and face what our reality really is. I can't suggest Al-Anon highly enough. Best to find the tools to help you through your trauma, and you'll find great ones there, surrounded by people who have been in your shoes (and who probably still are).
I still struggle with the sense of failing my kids, but when I step back and look at the big picture objectively, I didn't fail. I did the best I could with the information I had, and I succeeded by making the hard choices when faced with them.
Tap all the resources you can manage...therapy with an addictions specialist, AL-Anon, books about alcoholism, etc. Education is empowering. Keep reading here, and read posts in the alcoholism forum as well. I find their topics most enlightening and comforting.
Keep coming back, and take good care,
~T