Welcome, tears. So sorry for the rough time you've had.
My sweet, kind, smart, accomplished alcoholic husband downplayed his drinking so well and for a long time. I've been worried for 7 years, scared for 2, but only this year when I really went with eyes open and determined the extent of his secret did I know we were up $hit creek. From there it all fell apart very quickly. I asked him to leave 6 months ago. We have four children and 16 years of marriage at stake. He is still drinking.
You didn't CAUSE it, you can't CONTROL it, you can't CURE it. Once I had those principles in my head, it really helped me to back away. There is NOTHING I can do for my husband. There is EVERYTHING I can do for myself and our kids.
Now is the time for you to educate yourself. Read the stickies at the top of this forum. Read other posts. You will see that your story is almost like a script that other actors have been following, too. Find a local Al Anon meeting. Keep posting here on SR.
Good books: "Under The Influence" by Milam and "Codependent No More" by Beatty. Get them. Read them. Hugs to you. We are here for you and know what you are going through!