TSHHTF for our family
10 years ago i married the sweetest, gentlest person. Everything seemed fine for the first five years. Then I started noticing strange things, like beer cans hidden around the house, and my husband started acting strangely at times. When I confronted him about this years ago, he went to therapy and the beer cans started disappearing. I didn't really think he was an alcoholic, but I didn't like that he was hiding his drinking from me. Sometimes, when we were younger, he would binge drink, but it is a commonthing for people around here to do, and when I confronted him about it, he stopped! He did all the right things, went to therapy, stopped drinking entirely---or so I thought. I started noticing that he was acting drunk at times, but often couldn't smell it on his breath. He told me it was because he hadn't eaten for a while, so I thought he had a problem with Hypoglycemia. He went to the doctor and had blood work and everything!! He agreed to always have juice on hand in the car in case he had a hypoglycemia 'episode'. Recently, he had some juice in the car and when I tasted it it tasted like alcohol. He was so convincing that I was just being crazy and paranoid. For years I thought I was crazy and my mental health has been completely compromised as a result. The worst part- we have three gorgeous children that are caught in the middle of all the crap
I knew something was up with the 'juice' incident, and I wanted to find out the truth, because I knew I wasn't going to get it from my AH. I needed the truth so I could protect my children from this horrible thing that had consumed my AH. I ordered a breathalizer and some alcohol test strips used by high school principals to check for the presence of alcohol in water bottles. I waited for them to come in the mail.....
Before they arrived my AH had a day off work. He dropped me off at work and my children off at school. He went home. Later on, when he picked me up at work, I noticed that he was acting strangely, and he had picked my daughter up from school. Part of me was in denial and thought he just needed some juice of something. I begged him to let me drive but he refused, and i didn't want to make a scene in front of my workplace, with my boss waving goodbye to me from the office window. So we drove. [I]t became increasingly apparent that he was not fit to drive, and I was terrified for the safety of our children. I begged him to pull over, and he did, but at that point we had driven on a highway with oncoming traffic while he swerved around within the lane. I called 911, with him trying to grab the phone from me the whole time. The police and ambulance came, and I still thought that he had hypoglycemia. He refused treatment from the paramedics, but confessed that he had been drinking to the police. They put hancuffs on him in front of our screaming crying children. I had to give a statement to the police, then I had to pick up our other child at my AH`s parent`s house. I told his parents everything. They hugged me and said that they would support our family in any way they could. I called my parents, they came to my house right away, and hugged me and said they would help me any way they could. My family has been so fantastic. My husband spent the night in jail, and was released this am. My children are so sad about their daddy. I am so sad and horrified about the extent of my husband`s disease. I can`t comprehend it. I only want to do what is best for my children right now, and they love their daddy very much despite this huge flaw. My husband took a cab home this morning and confessed to me all of the times that I suspected he was drinking I was right.
I don`t know what to do with this information. I am overwhelmed with so many crzy emotions. I feel sadness, greif, immense relief and a huge sense of loss. It is like my husband is two people, a good, kind, gentle, hardworking man, and a lying, desperate, alcoholic. He tells me he will never touch alcohol again. He tells me he is going to AA tomorrow and get a sponser. His license is being taken away, but I won`t let him drive with our children in the car for a long, long, time of impeccable sobriety. I won`t drive with him as the driver.
I will not leave him with our children by himself either.
I don`t know if I should stay and see what happens, or run far far away. I don`t know what to do for our family.
I am so proud of myself for calling the police. I probably saved my children`s lives. It was the hardest thing I have ever, ever done.
I am so releived that TSHHTF.
I am in shock. I am exhaused and grieving for my children, myself, and my husband.