(((Viper))) - I'm a recovering crackhead, myself. There was NO WAY in he!! one rock was ever going to do anything but leave me wanting more. I did it 24/7, am WAY older than you, went from an RN to a street-walking crackhead, and still didn't hit bottom. Went to jail, stayed clean but it was more of white-knuckling it, and I relapsed. Only about 2 weeks, but it put me at an even lower bottom.
What helped me was remembering how I felt during my relapse. I was miserable, save for those few minutes that I was high. I hated myself, I hated what I'd done to my family AGAIN, and was near suicidal.
I started off, early, saying "not an option...next" with "next" being a cue to 1. distract myself, and 2. remember how awful I felt, even when using at the end. In time, my mind would be to "next" before I'd even realized I'd thought about crack.
I was lurking on SR for over a year, didn't sign on until I had 6 months in recovery. FWIW, I abused opiates before that, went to AA and there were a LOT of addicts in there. We just said "pick up" instead of something like "hitting the pipe". There were a lot of young people there, too. I just didn't really LISTEN to my sponsor and the old-timers who told me that hooking up with a guy who had 20+ years of crack addiction and "one week clean" was a really bad idea. Regardless, no one held a gun to my head to make me try it.
The cravings are going to come...crack is all mental and it's a b***h, but recovery is possible. Trust me, you keep it up, you are going to spiral down. I've yet to meet a "successful crackhead". I left my XABF#3 because he had no intention of doing anything but continuing to smoke crack. He died a couple years ago of pneumonia. All he had to do was go to the hospital, but as he would always say "that crack rock was calling my name". It called him one time too many.
I have over 4-1/2 years in recovery, there are others here who are also recovering crack addicts. It's not EASY, but recovery is totally worth it and more.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy