ForeverDecember

Hi all.

Although I joined this place a couple years ago I guess I wasn't strong enough back then.

My history (a short version), is simple: Started drinking relatively late in life (18), and now, ten years later, it's progressively gotten worse. I was at the stage of having a six pack of beer before work, and then at least 10-14 after work (and as a female that's way beyond the recommended), no dinner and passing out rarely remembering how I got to bed (if I made it that far!). There are lots of stories of how I've been in bad situations/done silly things but I won't go into them.

I'm quitting with the help of my GP, I am taking one valium at around 4pm when I finish work, and the idea is to have another 2 at bed time to sleep. By now I'm meant to be cutting it to one before bed. The trouble is I'm so flat without the drinking that once the 4pm valium wears off I just go to bed at 8pm. I'm struggling to find life interesting without a bottle in hand. Everything seems to go with drinking. Cooking, cleaning, playing on the computer, etc.

I've gotten to today, and I'm finding it harder than it's been so far. I feel like I've achieved something by not drinking for so long, and it's just so depressing to be not drinking. I feel like celebrating, or "just having a couple".

I'm on here to just say hi to people, maybe get some advice on what to expect for the next couple of weeks. I will not drink tonight though I'm embarrassed to admit I feel tears at the back of my eyes thinking that I can't. I've been caught off guard that tonight is harder than the first few nights were.

Also, is it worth taking another valium to dull this current craving then explain it to the dr? Is it normal to feel this 2 week itch?

It's silly that I keep thinking "No I will not get in the car and go to the bar, I will stay at home" and then my eyes start to prickle with tears. I know this is a mere fraction of the pain I've put others through, but any words of advice, comfort, random chat would help!