suki44883- thanks for your words i really do appreciate them, i know he is an adult & will make his choices, its just been really hard on me, i dont know what to do. so i felt the rules were a good idea, & so far things have been good. he doesnt even go looking for his friends because he said he wants to earn my trust back, that he doesnt want to have me doubting him. he told them that i found out about his problem & that he would be distancing himself for a while til he himself feels more confident in himself. he also said he has been wanting to quit for a while & now with me help he said it will be easier. i told him that whenever he felt an urge to do it, to talk to me about it. he said he would & just yesterday he told me that he feels really good, like if he isnt gonna have to use anymore. i have done my research & been sharing what i found with him so we are both dealing with this together. & if he does relapse, he himself has agreed to leave our home, which is the last thing he or i want. but i feel like theres no other way to make him learn. & if that day comes, he ultimately has no choice because the lease & all the bills & car everything is in my name.